Taking back my life…..

While moving forward with life it seems I’ve been MIA from writing my blog.  It’s hard to believe that as of April 25, 2018 that 1 full year has passed since my kidney transplant. Some amazing things have happened including opening my Private Practice (Counseling) and expanding my resume with a Coaching Certificate (Health & Lifestyle). I know I can take credit for these achievements because I took control, put in the hard work and continue to dedicate the time and energy to make these dreams flourish. Unfortunately, on the flip side I have to admit that I’ve allowed myself to fall back into unhealthy habits such as not enough attention to how I have been nourishing not only my body but my mind and spirit as well. I found myself questioning how I could work with those struggling to improve their health, increase positive coping skills and to find and/or rediscover their best selves when I was practicing with more of  a  “do what I say and not what I do” attitude than living by example.

I’ve been talking with a friend about my goal to find balance in my life. I want to become my best self which may be different than hers, yours and 10,000 other people in the world and that is okay. The common theme that binds us all is that we have the control. I know as soon as some of you read that you will be thinking “No! I don’t have control, there are so many things out of my control and it’s not fair.” Yes, you are right. There are many things out of our control such as being diagnosed with a chronic illness, losing a loved one, natural disasters, and how quickly they will have the next Avengers movie in the theaters  (sorry, had to throw that in there).

I’ve said that before too….”it’s not fair”…..and I’ve ranted, cried and thrown myself many pity parties over the years. It’s okay to do that. We are allowed to vent, to whine, to get it all out there. After that is done then we can step back, take a breath and look at the question of control. What I’ve learned and what I try to teach others is that the only thing we control is ourselves. We may not believe it but we choose…yes choose how we will respond with our words, thoughts and actions. It may feel as if your choices are between bad and worse and that may actually be the case. No one said life would be fair. If it was I’d be taller than 5’1, not have my dad’s shoulders and Gerard Butler would be my husband but as it is he hasn’t realized he’s missing me yet. 

I’m not saying I’ve got this down pat and I never blame external forces for what is happening in my life. I’m a work in progress with the key word being progress while I continue to learn how to move forward. That is all any of us can do and as with any other skill it can take practice. First we need to learn how to identify where and with whom does the control lay? When we understand our part in the equation we can decide how we want to react, feel, say and what will we allow this person and/or situation to take from us. So for me I can’t accept praise for working hard on some goals and not take responsibility for what I’ve let slide. I’m taking back control of my life by identifying what I’ve allowed, how I can change those things and then putting all my energy into not only achieving my goals but ROCKING those changes.

Thank you for taking the ride along with me. If even one person reads my blog and feels as if something I’ve said resonates with them I have done what I’ve set out to do. I welcome all comments whether you agree or disagree, would like to share your own story or just give feedback.

As always remember Every Day is a New Beginning.